i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
