there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize