Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
