Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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