Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
