everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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