Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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