I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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