Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
