I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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