You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize