i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
