Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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