I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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