It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
