just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
