shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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