But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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