you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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