shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
