it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
