Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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