The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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