I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
