Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
