We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's get the cat blown out
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
