i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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