This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
