I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
