My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize