Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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