Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Randomize
