He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
