Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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