Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
