I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
