My hand turned me down
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
