I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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