I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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