Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
