She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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