Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
