Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
