I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The convent might be a nice break from real life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
