I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
