And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
