Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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