Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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