guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
