even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
