Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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