gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
