I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
