If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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