ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
