just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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