i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
