come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
