i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
