Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
