I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
