Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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